Posted by Christopher Mc on Thursday, March 11, 2010,
In :
Humour
 The victims support group, One in Four, Two for Joy, has attacked Pope Benedict XVI for his failure to prevent a horn growing on the head of an old Chinese women. "His silence is disgraceful", said Marie Collins, "This has been a growing problem for years and he's done nothing about it. Everybody knew about this, even though she wore a scarf; it's a complete cover up." Andrew Madden, who used to be Chinese until he defected last month, said that he had read very carefully the Vatican's lett... Continue reading ...
Posted by Christopher Mc on Thursday, March 11, 2010,
In :
Humour
Watched a programme tonight, The Boys of St Columb's. Derry people are tremendously gifted - they manage to combine an inflated sense of their own importance with a whingy tone in a way that no other people can quite achieve. The closest competition maybe comes from Palestinians but at least they don't usually try to sing (apart from that ghastly concert during the Holy Father's visit to the Holy Land). Bishop Edward Daly came across as nice. Of course he was born in Donegal. Continue reading ...
Posted by Christopher Mc on Tuesday, March 9, 2010,
In :
Humour
 Photoshopped - this never happens in nature
"When the door of a microwave oven, in which has been placed a cup, jug or bowl with a handle, is opened, the propability that the handle will be facing the back of the oven is 1." Continue reading ...
Posted by Christopher Mc on Saturday, March 6, 2010,
In :
Humour
 One of my good friends has accused me of unnecessary cruelty, a charge I accept so I am amending the post - for those who missed it - well it was cruel but funny and you should read more often. I was pleased to see Niamh Kavanagh on the Late Late Show on Friday and that she will be representing Ireland at the Eurovision Song Contest. She is a tremendous singer, though the song is not as good as the one that won in 1993 and I doubt she'll win. She'll also need to get better advice on dress as t... Continue reading ...
Posted by Christopher Mc on Monday, February 8, 2010,
In :
Humour
A boy in my son's class asked the teacher the other day a question about geometry. "Sir, if there's three dimensional things, does that mean you can have one dimensional things?" To which the teacher replied "em, er, em I'm really not sure about that". Michael (10) stuck his hand up and told them about lines.  Speaking of dimensions, I had an hilarious (to me) experience the other day. I was waiting for lift - the doors opened and inside was an enormously tall woman - she must have been at leas... Continue reading ...
Posted by Christopher Mc on Thursday, January 21, 2010,
In :
Humour
Scientists have suggested that a powerful aftershock that rattled Haiti on Wednesday was caused my massive tectonic shifting when Ted Kennedy turned in his grave. Continue reading ...
Posted by Christopher Mc on Sunday, December 6, 2009,
In :
Humour
 In case you missed this story ("Too Fat to Fly") and this one ("Fly Fatty Flees Justice" or "Prison Pass for Porky Paedophile Protestant"). Some people think I have a prejudice against large people. I do. Continue reading ...
Posted by Christopher Mc on Sunday, November 22, 2009,
In :
Humour
Here's a site specially designed for the paranoid priests of Down and Connor who live in continual fear of catching something from a cough or a sneeze or some type of contact with the faithful.
 Continue reading ...
Posted by Christopher Mc on Sunday, October 18, 2009,
In :
Humour
Several people have been phoning , emailing and texting madly wanting to know what on earth this story is about. Well they'll just have to do their research and figure it out.
But be assured it is really funny. Continue reading ...
Posted by Christopher Mc on Monday, September 21, 2009,
In :
Humour
Want a bit of a laugh? Visit You Tube and search for "liturgical abuses America's funniest weddings and baptisms". I don't seem to be able to put in the direct link. My favourite bit comes around 30 seconds which features a priest dropping a host down the front of a girl's dress. I remember this from old liturgical books which presented this particular problem. The lady is supposed to be taken into the sacristy and carefully shaken by pious ladies - not publicly groped by the priest.... Continue reading ...
Posted by Christopher Mc on Friday, September 18, 2009,
In :
Humour
Those peep toes are so last season.  Continue reading ...
Posted by Christopher Mc on Sunday, August 30, 2009,
In :
Humour
Excuse me for a moment, I think I just vomited in my mouth. It's not swine flu - it's Kennedy Funeral. Okay so he apparently went to confession before he died and therefore just about scrapes through the canonical requirements to get a Catholic funeral (though if it's the same priests he's been hanging with for the last forty years, well, I suppose they have it on their conscience). I saw a bit of the Left Hand of Darkness doing a eulogy - those of you with long memories will remember my fir... Continue reading ...
Posted by Christopher Mc on Tuesday, July 21, 2009,
In :
Humour
I recently attended an informal seminary reunion - about fourteen or fifteen of us gathered in a rather dodgy looking French restaurant next door to the Ballynafeigh Orange Hall - it looked like the sort of place the UDA commanders used to meet in upstairs. That said the food was lovely and the service was excellent. It's interesting to see how some people have changed physically, while others haven't at all in 15 years. And how personalities remain the same throughout. Apparently I was tr... Continue reading ...
Posted by Christopher Mc on Sunday, June 28, 2009,
In :
Humour
Posted by Christopher Mc on Sunday, June 7, 2009,
In :
Humour
 "Mesdames et Messieurs les Députés, le président des États-Unis d'Amérique". The President stands ponderously behind the podium, the massed soldiery, some missing limbs, others minds, all of them missing their lost comrades from that day, stand at attention as best they can. "I am thrilled, indeed pleased and honoured, that so many people of different shades of colour, and none, have gathered here today to share with me the great privilege of having this beach named after me. As one among... Continue reading ...
Posted by Christopher Mc on Tuesday, June 2, 2009,
In :
Humour
...too hot to blog. Back when I'm cool ("that'll be never then" spake my wife). Continue reading ...
Posted by Christopher Mc on Friday, May 29, 2009,
In :
Humour
Did you know this? You know the zucchetto, the skull cap worn by prelates? Well the word comes from "zucca", the Italian for pumpkin. I wonder who first made the connection between bishops and pumpkins.
This nugget is from the Catholic Dictionary published by Our Sundary Visitor, a book I recommend for all. And cheap too - €6.40 new in book shops.
Continue reading ...
Posted by Christopher Mc on Wednesday, May 27, 2009,
In :
Humour
My friend Doris, after calling me all sorts of names, ordered me to remove the previous version of this posting, so if you missed it, well, that's a pity cos it was very interesting.
Continue reading ...
Posted by Christopher Mc on Wednesday, May 20, 2009,
In :
Humour
 Remember the old joke about the Kerry man whose wife has had twins wanting to know who the other father was? Obviously he was familiar with heteropaternal super fecundation. Continue reading ...
Posted by Christopher Mc on Friday, May 8, 2009,
In :
Humour
Posted by Christopher Mc on Sunday, May 3, 2009,
In :
Humour
 ... when you have a dream about meeting Katie Holmes when you're on your lunchbreak in Dublin and you find yourself telling her about the problems you've been having with your Opel Zafira (run and don't stop running) and she takes you to a car dealer and buys you a new car. I wonder has that ever happened to anyone?  Continue reading ...
Posted by Christopher Mc on Monday, April 27, 2009,
In :
Humour
 D'ya ever find yourself standing before a mirror of a morning with a brush in hand and discovering that your hair has turned into the hair of Ken Barlow? I'm not saying it's happened to me. Just wondering has it ever happened to anyone. Continue reading ...
Posted by Christopher Mc on Monday, April 20, 2009,
In :
Humour
 The scene: a Velux factory somewhere in Denmark. The actors: Haagen and Paavo. Haagen the apprentice: this glue is amazing, it's the strongest stuff I've ever seen. Paavo: it holds the windows together, keeps the different layers of laminate together - it has to be really strong. Haagen: well I've a little left over, what should I do with it? Paavo: put it on the glass and we'll stick the instructions on. Haagen: but won't the glue make it really difficult to get the instructions off? Paavo:... Continue reading ...
Posted by Christopher Mc on Tuesday, April 7, 2009,
In :
Humour
Posted by Christopher Mc on Monday, April 6, 2009,
In :
Humour
 I had a strange dream last night. It involved a vending machine in which you typed in your size, style and colour and the internal knitting machine knitted you a jumper while you waited. Dragon's Den here I come. I'm offering 10% of the business for €100,000. I'm sure it will be a winner. I'll throw in my ideas for cosmetic ear shadow if you need a sweetener. Continue reading ...
Posted by Christopher Mc on Friday, March 13, 2009,
In :
Humour
 If you're looking for some light entertainment and a way to meet new people, here's a fun new game I've discovered. You see someone wearing a Liverpool FC top (or scarf, hat, coat whatever); you stop them and say "excuse me, do you know you're wearing a Liverpool top?". They usually reply "what?" in some shape or form - depending on where you are - it may include an explitive. You then reply "I thought perhaps it was a mistake". Usually best to move off quickly at this point, although many... Continue reading ...
Posted by Christopher Mc on Tuesday, March 10, 2009,
In :
Humour
So the Holy Father is on a pastoral visitation to the Holy Land. The first day he's at the Wailing Wall, kneeling. A child asks him what he's doing. "I'm praying for peace between the Jews and the Arabs". "And who are you talking to?" asked the child. "To God the Father" replied the Pope.
The next day the Pope is back at the Wailing Wall again. "What are you doing?" asks another child. "I'm praying for peace in Sudan". "And who are you talking to?" asked the child. "To God the Son" re...
Continue reading ...
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About Me + Disclaimer + Email + How to Comment
| Christopher Mc Camley |
| Drogheda, Ireland |
Catholic, Carmelite, Husband, Father, Reader of all sorts of books, Writer of occasional letters, Viewer of lots of TV and movies, Lover of tea, Hater of coffee. Anything I write is my own opionion and is not intended to represent the views of any organisation with which I have a connection. You can email me at "blog at live.ie" (replace the "at" with @). Don't be shy. To comment, click on the title of post. You have to include a name and email but fake ones work fine. Make sure there's an @ in the email.
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